I’m Goofy and I Know It

Blog post written August 11, 2021:

The last 30 days have been an emotional and physical roller coaster in my world.

Midway through July, I was in a car accident that scared the bajeebers out of me. The GPS had me confused. I was supposed to turn right and missed it. The person coming from the left was going to turn right and went straight instead. My car smashed into their side. “Magic”, my vehicle at the time, protected me with her airbags and kept me safe upon impact. I was extremely lucky. Magic, unfortunately, was not and got towed away, never to return. I have no idea what happened to the others involved. I may never know.

The following Saturday, I spent my birthday, emotionally wrecked, at a car lot trying to figure out how I was going to afford another. Still sore, and worrying about the others involved in the accident, hoping they are ok, I felt depressed, fearful, sad, and not ready to drive home another car. Feeling like I had no choice, or better options, I did it anyway. I originally had birthday plans that eve, yet canceled them. Celebrating anything, especially myself, felt wrong.

The next day, I went to a Celebration of Life for a man I’d had the pleasure of seeing every month or so at the clinic or coffee shop in town. He passed at 79 years old having traveled to exotic places and changed the lives of thousands with his big heart, holistic dentistry, and spiritual perspectives. He was a gem of a man, I was grateful to know. It is amazing how much more you learn about a person at an event like this. I left feeling more inspired, rather than sad. He led a life well-lived and left an amazing legacy behind.

It got me thinking…how can I give more? How can I inspire more?

This past weekend, I attended another Celebration of Life for a former high school classmate. We had been in a couple plays together and reconnected years later on social media. His wit and wisdom brightened my days and made me laugh often. It was so strange seeing him posting quips one minute and then gone the next. Suddenly and unexpectedly, he passed at 52. A brave, smart, and unique person who also led a well-lived life, leaving family behind. I began giggling at some of the photos displayed at the event. His personality oozed out of all of them. He was the king of selfies before selfies were even a thing. Grumpy ones, silly ones, looks of excitement, and some staged with hats or props…they all made me smile. He was just…himself. I felt inspired once more.

Again, I left thinking…how can I give more? How can I inspire more?

Had things gone differently last month, others would have been attending my Celebration of Life. Luckily, I’ve been given more time. The question is, how am I going to spend it?

I have really hermitted up lately, not wanting to be seen. Once again, attempting to figure out my life, my health, and my next steps. None of it has been clear and I’ve not felt happy. In trying to feel safe, I stopped sharing myself, stopped being outwardly goofy, and made excuses to myself as to why:

– “No one really cares.”
– “In the whole scope of things, my goofiness doesn’t matter.”
– “Selfies are dumb. No one really wants to see me.”
– “My life is boring.”
– “If I don’t have rights to a song, and it’s just going to get muted, why bother dancing at all.”

None of this is true.

I am constantly inspired by those who are goofy, and take random snapshots of themselves in various places. Their lives don’t look boring to me. People who share their lives authentically, inspire me. And they are the ones who tell me they miss my dance videos, even if they’re muted by record labels.

So…how can I give more? How can I inspire more?

Moving forward, I’m choosing to celebrate my life, take and share more selfies, and dance like everyone’s watching (whether there is music or not).

I want to be sure I leave a legacy of a well-lived life filled with pictures of me and my goofy journey through This Human Experience.

What about you? What kind of legacy do you want to leave behind?

🤪 Goofy is as goofy does,

~ Jody Pogo